Transition Stinks (err... is exciting!)

I need a little help with my ducks tonight…

Remember Yay Duck and Yuck Duck?  A pair-of-ducks….paradox! 

Tonight I’d like to declare that transition is rotten.  It’s no fun.  I want to avoid it.

And, I’m really excited to embark on what is to come.  Transition is full of opportunity. It’s exciting and fulfilling.   

Let me explain...

When I was a little girl, I went to summer camp by myself, starting at age 8.  It was just a week of camp and my cousins and/or friends from church were often there with me.  It was SO MUCH FUN!  But do you know what I did all through the church service the morning before my parents drove me up to camp to be dropped off?  I cried.  I cried through the hymns, I cried through the sermon, I may have even cried through lunch and the two hour drive to camp.

Why?  After all, I just said that camp was SO MUCH FUN!

Because I missed my family.  My Mom. My Dad. My brother.  I missed them so very much, I cried.  Then, after we moved my bags into my cabin and met the rest of my roommates that afternoon, we shared a tearful goodbye and I was at camp.  I often didn’t eat dinner that night, even though they were serving my favorite breaded chicken sandwich!  But, for the rest of that week, I was “all in”.  I did the early morning jog and swim to win extra points for my team, I did the obstacle course, the trust fall, the kayaks at the lake.  I wore the armor of God, brought down the walls of Jericho and even performed in the talent show.  I loved camp!  I especially enjoyed mail call as well as sending postcards home, telling my family about camp.  I missed them a lot, but at the same time, I was having a blast. 

Did you hear that?  Yays and yucks, all mashed together!

We have three weeks till we fly back home to PA for a time.  We’ve shared many goodbyes as other friends have already transitioned back home for leave or forever.  But as my flight quickly approaches, I am beginning to seriously miss my friends here…ahead of time, just like missing my family before camp even started.  Some have been friends our entire three years here, while others are new friends we look forward to getting to know even more.   This Friday will be graduation at EBCoM with even more goodbyes to students who have been here our entire first term. 

It's tempting to feel quite sad.  (Yuck!)

Then, we’ll board a plane with our two young children and travel (by plane and car) for roughly the next 28 hours or so.  We’ll take them “back home” to where our 6-year-old will vaguely remember his 3-year-old life and where our almost 4-year-old will have no memory besides the pictures we’ve shown and stories we’ve told her.  They’ll be reunited with family who they mainly know through Skype or letters.  They’ll meet many of our friends as strangers.  Then, after 5 months, we’ll travel back to Malawi to the familiar people and places of this “home”.  And as I did before we boarded the plane to come to Malawi, I turn to Jonathan and ask “What on earth are we doing to our children?!?!”

It’s tempting to feel quite desperate, even confused.  (Yuck!)

Transition is hard on kids.  It’s hard enough on adults!  We’ve talked with them for months about visiting PA, going “back home,” playing with cousins, visiting museums, taking ballet lessons, swim lessons, going to libraries and seeing friends.  They get really excited!  They also get really sad, missing their friends in Malawi ahead of time.  They know transition is coming.  Mommy and Daddy are moving things around, talking about what to pack and even what to bring back.  They can tell something is “up” and all is not going to be “normal”.  So they cling to what they hold dear and claim as normal – they cling to Mommy and Daddy.  Mommy and Daddy have long to-do lists and are constantly thinking of more details.  Mommy and Daddy take time to fill up two kids’ leaky buckets. 

Transition is HARD. (Yuck!)

I’m looking forward to store-bought salsa, Campbell's tomato soup and buy-one-get-one 8 oz. cheese blocks.  I look forward to paying with a debit card.  I am really looking forward to blending in, instead of being pointed at and called “Azungu!” (meaning foreigner or rich person) almost every time I leave my house by foot or car.  I look forward to driving on nice roads where (most) traffic laws are followed, with little to no animal obstacles. 

It’s tempting to get excited! (Yay!)

More than any places or things, though, I look forward to hugging my parents, my nieces, my nephews and their parents.  I can’t wait to soak up their presence over meals, playground visits, happenstance visits and even phone calls!  I look forward to walking into our home church and greeting our church family who commissioned us on this journey and upheld us in prayer, wrote notes, sent cards and packages.  There are moments I can feel myself about to burst!

It’s tempting to feel extremely excited!  (Yay!)

We haven’t seen any of our family (besides my parents’ visit) for three whole years.  Babies have been born we’ve never met. Friends have gotten married AND had babies all in those three years.  Our own youngest who was a baby when we left PA is now a spunky almost 4-year-old.  We are very excited to catch up with everyone and love on one another in person. 

We ARE excited! (Yay!)

In the midst of packing and preparing for home ministry, I have yay ducks and yuck ducks bouncing all over inside, competing for my attention – trying to win me over.  But I’m reminded of the training we received in our last huge transition – when we came to Malawi.

Embrace the paradox – the pair-of-ducks. 

Let the Yays be Yays and celebrate them!   

Let the Yucks be Yucks and grieve them.  

They both deserve their due attention. 

This is a hard thing to do – embrace paradox.

Please pray with us that we can embrace the paradox of this transition.  

Pray not only for preservation of relationships, but for flourishing through the changes we face.

As always, pray that God would be glorified, magnified and honored through the Yays and Yucks. 

He is able.