A Mom's "Giving Up" for Lent

Disclaimer:  This is more of a post for my "mommy friends" I miss so much from back home than a missionary's musings...but all are welcome to read!  Be entertained, and perhaps even inspired!

Today, as we begin Lent, I thought I’d think through "giving up" something for this season through Easter Sunday.  I haven't done this in a while.  The goal of “giving something up for Lent” is to remind yourself of Jesus’ sacrifice for you each time you would otherwise do or eat whatever you gave up.  Ideally, you can use the time you would have used doing what you gave up to spend more focused time praying or reading Scripture to help center you on the character of Christ and really identify with His suffering.  By entering into His suffering and death during Lent, we see our own humanity and need, and prepare to enter all the more into the life offered to us at Christ’s resurrection on Easter.  

As a stay-at home mom, however, I have struggled with this idea.  A mother of young children gives up a lot already...but with little time to step back and fill it with other things (the kids fill it quite fully).  I really want to be practical in my spiritual discipline.  So, humor me here, and explore some of the ideas I came up with:

•  I decided to give up filtering water for Lent.  It will save me a lot of time that I can use for Bible reading.  Plus, every time I go to drink water, I will be reminded to pray even harder for good health and protection! 
•  I decided to give up bathing the kids for Lent.  It will save time and water and there will be many fewer tantrums and screaming about water getting into their eyes (reducing my need for patience).  This is made even easier when there is a water outage.  We will just play in the rain.  
•  I decided to give up changing diapers for Lent.  Again, this will save me a lot of time.  So, each time Rachel needs to be changed, I’ll just go to a quiet place and read my Bible instead. 
•  I decided to give up giving the kids snacks.  This way, each time they want to eat between meals, I will send them to get it for themselves and I will read them Scripture as they do so.  
•  I decided to give up feeding the dog for Lent.  This way, each time the dog begs for food, I will be reminded of Jesus’ sacrifice for me. 
• I decided to give up washing dishes for Lent.  The enormous amount of time saved by doing so will allow me to serve others as Jesus served us.
• I decided to give up answering my 3-year-old's questions, starting with "Why?"  In this way, I will have a LOT more brain power to offer to spiritual things.
• I decided to give up my free time for Lent.  Oh wait, I gave that up when we had kids…

Poor Simba...waiting for her breakfast.

Of course, these ideas are absurd and don’t really get around to the true purpose behind giving something up for Lent.  As I thought about giving something up I felt a bit defeated.  By giving something up, I’m to make room in my schedule, my mind and my heart to allow Jesus in; to meditate on his sacrifice for me and the sacrifice I am called to offer back to him through my life and living. 

But, instead of “giving up” this year, I think I will attempt to embrace the intended end of that loss by humbly opening up to receive.  So, instead of giving up something this Lent, I’m actually looking to fill up.  

I want to fill up with the sense that God has something to say to me (opening my ears to listen).  

I want to fill up with the love Jesus expressed while He walked this earth, chatting, healing, teaching, and loving people.   

I want to fill up with a new understanding of God’s grace and forgiveness not only for me, but also for those to whom I have not yet given grace or forgiveness.   

I want to fill up the empty spaces in my soul – not with meaningless excuses for fulfillment, but with the deep challenges God calls me to consider and respond to in the way I speak, act and think. 

 

So, here is my revised list of ideas:

Our water filter and dispenser,
visited frequently throughout each day.

• When I filter water for my family to have safe drinking water throughout Lent, I will try to think about the Living Water Jesus wants to fill me with and how I can let it flow from me to others:  “…Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, ‘If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.  Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.’” – John 7:37b-38  

On the bathroom mirror next to the bathtub:
Lord, wash me...
Create in me a pure heart...
Renew a steadfast spirit in me...
Restore the joy of your salvation
Grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.
(taken from Psalm 51:7b, 10, 12)

•  As I give my kids baths during Lent, I can think about how very much fun they have splashing in the water, repeatedly filling buckets and dumping them out again, squeezing sponges and filling them back up again, experimenting with water using funnels, old yogurt containers and little plastic boats.  God delights in us finding joy in Him.  Lent is a time pointing to Easter, the most joyous mark on the Christian calendar!    But, my kids really hate the part when I wash their hair and then insist on rinsing them off, too!  They just want to play.  As I bathe them, I can think about the parts of me that don’t want to let God in.  The parts where I want to keep the dirt in my hair and grime under my nails.  The parts I think I can hide from God, but he desperately wants to wash clean, knowing that I will be better for it and closer to him after I let Him.  So I will examine my heart and life asking:  What am I keeping from God?  How am I selfish and stubborn?  How can God move in me, or how can I move for God?

 

Signs tied onto the diaper basket:
"If anyone is in Christ,
he is a new creation;
the old has gone,
the new has come!"
2 Corinthians 5:17

•  As I change and wash diapers for my daughter, I can think about what is inside of me that needs to come out!  Lent is a time of introspection, turning to take a look inside ourselves to acknowledge our vulnerabilities as humans and our deep need for God’s forgiveness and new life.  One remarkable characteristic of God is His mercy on us.  He doesn’t just forgive us once or twice, here or there (I don’t just change her diaper once or twice and let it go the other times), He forgives us each time we come before Him to say “I’m sorry, I messed up…again.”  Each time, He has mercy on us and grants forgiveness over and over and over and over again. “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” – Ephesians 4:22-24 

 

•  When my children ask for snacks during Lent, I will try to consider how God hears my requests and responds to them.  Sometimes my kids whine for a snack, seeming assuming that I won’t give it to them (otherwise, wouldn’t they just ask?).  Sometimes my kids grunt for a snack they see and want (feeling that they are entitled to what they want and assuming I know what they’re talking about).  Sometimes my kids just act grumpy, so I know it is time for a healthy snack.  How do these scenarios parallel how I address God?  How should I address God?  “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!  So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:11-12 

• When I feed the dog throughout Lent, I can think of Jesus’ sacrifice for me.  A little from Bobby* is helpful here:  “He [Jesus] pleads to be spared the dreaded hour come round at last, the bitter cup of suffering.  Three times he asks!  But in the end he says yes; he wills to do his Father’s will, whatever the cost.  And this is what Jesus asks of us during Lent, to say no and yes: ‘If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me’ (Mk 8:34)” 

•  When I wash the dishes that are dirtied each day at our house, I will be thankful for the food that was on them.  I will thank God for the nourishing foods we are able to buy, prepare and eat.  I will pray for those who even live next door to me who do not have such variety.  I will ask God how we can responsibly “share our bread” with those who have none or little.  Lent is also a time to turn and take a look outside yourself, taking into account what it really means to follow Jesus and in so doing, serving others as He would.

•  Free time…well, I still won’t have much of this, but when I do, I will try to ask myself some questions.  If I feel like watching a movie – why?  Is it to escape something?  Is it to be entertained? Is it to rest?  Watching movies (depending on the film) is not wrong, but it can be something we use to temporarily fill us up when we could be more sufficiently filled up through another activity.  God certainly promotes rest, but often, an activity done in the name of rest, can leave me more exhausted then when I started!  Like when I stay up too late to watch a movie that wasn’t all that great.  Perhaps, I should be quiet for a little, journal, create something, write to a friend and just go to bed early!

And as for answering the endless questions of my 3-year-old, well, when I mentioned the idea at lunch today, this dialogue followed:

Me: I have an idea!  I am going to give up answering the question "why?" for Lent.

Micah:  Why?

Me: Oh dear...

The question "why?" is so intriguing, enticing and irresistible.  Yes, I will continue to give creatively detailed answers to my son's blunt why-questions, but I will try to have an ounce more patience each time, knowing that I am investing in his understanding of the world - his worldview.  I suppose that is what Jesus would do.  After all, He came to re-frame the way we think about things, to bring a Kingdom where things seem upside-down in the way they are done (a King serving his followers, calling us to love our enemies, bless those who curse you, etc.) and to love us unconditionally, even when we are annoying.  Besides, in some small way, I can identify with Jesus' suffering as I attempt to answer the "why" question about absolutely everything!

*Living the Christian Year: Time to Inhabit the Story of God” by Bobby Gross p. 133.